Andy Carroll Reveals 2021 Sexual Assault Trauma: 'It Haunts Me Every Day'

Former England striker Andy Carroll has revealed that he was a victim of sexual assault in 2021. He made the admission in his autobiography, Owning It, released this week. The incident occurred while Carroll was asleep at his home, during his second spell with Newcastle United.

The perpetrator, a friend of Carroll's former partner, was later sentenced to three years in prison after Carroll testified at trial. The man is also on the sex offenders register. Carroll said he woke the perpetrator and threw him out of the house, then incapacitated him when the man tried to get back in.

In the book, Carroll writes, “I was sexually assaulted, that's it. It's frightening even to think about, and only a few people knew before this.” He said it took him a long time to decide to include the incident, and that he even avoided his editor for fear of being seen as backing out. “Me and Lou (Teasdale, his partner) spent a lot of time discussing whether to mention it or not. It's frightening to talk about, but it shaped me like other good things. If by speaking out I can help just one person, that's worth it,” he writes.

Carroll revealed that the psychological impact of the incident has been far-reaching. “What happened to me affects every aspect of my life. I think about it every day, it's hard to focus on anything else, including football. The trauma never goes away,” he said. His statement highlights how sexual violence can devastate a victim's mental health, even when they have public status and access to resources.

Carroll's case is not the first in football. In recent years, a number of footballers, both active and retired, have begun to speak openly about similar experiences. In England, organisations such as the Professional Footballers' Association (PFA) have provided counselling and mental health support for players. However, stigma and shame are often the main barriers preventing victims from reporting or seeking help.

For the Indonesian public, Carroll's story is an important mirror. At home, sexual violence remains a serious problem, including in sport. Data from the National Commission on Violence Against Women (Komnas Perempuan) shows thousands of sexual violence cases are reported every year, but the true figure is believed to be far higher because many victims are reluctant to report. In national football, there is no comprehensive protection mechanism for victims of sexual violence. Carroll's admission could prompt clubs and federations in Indonesia to strengthen support systems, including providing counsellors and safe reporting procedures.

“I was sexually assaulted... It's frightening to talk about, but it made me the person I am today. If by speaking out I can help one person, that's worth it.” — Andy Carroll

Carroll's courage in speaking openly also highlights the importance of family and partners in the recovery process. He said the decision to publish his story was made after long discussions with Teasdale. Such support is crucial, because victims often feel isolated and afraid of being judged.

Going forward, the world of sport—including in Indonesia—is being called on to focus not only on on-field achievement but also on athletes' mental wellbeing. Are clubs and federations ready to create a safe environment for victims to speak out without fear? Only then will the trauma experienced by Carroll and other victims not be repeated.